Author's Note
I began communicating through writing when I was around 7 years old, and I switched to typing by the age of 8. Before this, I struggled to learn to speak and found it difficult to share my thoughts. Writing and typing were also challenging for me because of my struggles with motor coordination. Those were tough times, and I often felt frustrated and demotivated, but things got better in time. I wrote this letter to share my experiences. I hope it encourages young non-speaking autistic people beginning on a path similar to mine.
From My Present to My Past
Tarun Paul Mathew
Dear 8-year-old Tarun,
It’s been a long time since I last fit into your shoes. I’ve carefully held on to the memories of your days, and all your hope. I want to thank you for staying hopeful and brave. It’s your courage that has kept me going. I might’ve been someone else, if you’d insisted on travelling the easy way. But I’m grateful that you never hesitate to take the road less travelled, like in the poem by Robert Frost.
I’m proud of your persistence, despite the weight of harmful and limiting notions about who you should be and what you can do. Today, I’m happy with where I stand, and that’s only possible because you keep growing and moving forward. The way you always take everything in stride means so much to me.
I know you still have a lot of fear, especially for tomorrow, but that’s alright. Your fear of never being heard only means you know you have something to say. Let this truth be what motivates you to keep trying to express yourself.
Let yourself be just as you are. I know it scares you to forever feel so different from your friends and family. My little self, let me offer you the courage to move beyond your thinking and help you understand the power of your unique body and mind combined. I remember the many times people were surprised at what I expressed through typing. I appreciate every time the road gifted me these glimmers, and I look forward to you enjoying them too.
Go the way you feel is right. Never doubt your power or your worth. Your journey will not be easy, but believe in the value of your uniqueness. I promise it will be worth the wait and the difficulties, when you are finally heard, and your difference appreciated.
Lots of love and courage,
19-year-old Tarun
